a crack in the starlit sky

image from tumblr
i humbly recommend this track for your listening pleasure

---

I caught a glimpse of paradise today.

It was a peculiar feeling, seeing something you’re so familiar with but have never actually seen.

For the first time, gazing out a plane window at 4AM, I saw the stars. Not just the rare one or two bright ones bravely shining through the noisy city lights, but a whole sky full of it.

And I remember thinking, Wow, this is one star too many.


I was, and still am, a city girl. Born and bred with the glaring lights of rush and noise to suffocate my senses. I have never seen the stars I write about so often, felt the cool moss beneath my bare feet, or lay in fields with the evening sun warming my face. I felt an odd sense of guilt when I realised just how glorious the pattern of the heavens was, how I’d been talking all these time about something I never really knew. 

So maybe what I’m trying to say very imperfectly is that writing has taken me places I could have only dreamed about.

When I write about the mountains and the stars and the songs the wind sings, a piece of me is there. When I’m broken, I engrave the words of my Father into the crevices of my heart. When my soul sings, I pencil in that song to my memory where I can keep it for eternity.

I feel like Christmas eve is an appropriate time for such reflections. Staring up into the sky this evening made me feel so small and pale in comparison, but I know of Someone loved me enough to send His own Son to this earth, with a bright lonely star to watch over His cradle, for the redemption of a girl who cannot love enough on her own.

The stars were never one too many or one too few.

//

Only a few more hours to Christmas, so happy (almost) Christmas!! May you be filled with love & joy this season, and not forget the life behind why we remember this beautiful day.

p.s.: still working on part ii of here's a piece of my heart!! so excited to finish this ♥ so much love for you all.

field of dreams

the colours leak from the shadows
and a faint lavender glow is scattered through the field
i am here--
again.
i lick my cracked lips
and then sit
before the silence strangles me,

it is the time before darkness and light
the moon slowly melts into the paled sky
the lost dreams are creeping back into night
my heart, strange and hollow
i can feel it--
aching,

i want to scream into the horizon
with its fading stars
and tell them--
wait.
i have no words left in me
and no strength left to shout,

but i am the girl that chased tomorrow!
i saw the wells of light at the end of the worlds
i cried for all the broken dreams
and laughed at the ones that bloomed
i am freckled with sun
bathed with tears
i've seen the sky cry at dusk
and the ocean spilt by lightning,

why have i come to this field?
i can't quite--
remember.
there are dead visions buried here
i know it,
the air is filled with tears and sleepless nights
i can taste them on my tongue,

i come to realise
as the time crawls by
that i am just another shadow passing
a ghost of a happier time
sent to watch this field of death
and mourn for my lost--
dream,

//

i hope you like this; i've been thinking a lot about deaths of visions, & how God works through them.

continue to keep me in prayer!

i've been busy with college apps & interviews & internships & all the (ahem) fun stuff hahaha.

i'll definitely be popping in and posting/reading your fab posts as much as i can! <3

so much love xx

fearless love

magic from tumblr

i will tell you the things i am afraid of.

i am afraid of the dark when it spirals into oblivion,
of the light that blinds the tender eye,
of second before the storm,
of the song that shreds the heart.

i am afraid of the bright music i hear when you laugh,
of the sky that colours your brown, curly hair,
of your kind voice that says hello,
of the sea that reflects your smiling eyes.

i am afraid.

but, let me tell you what i love.

i love the dark that casts wandering shadows on my face,
the light that patterns the dusty floors,
the storm that rages with passion,
the song that sings through the air.

i love the warmth of your laughter,
the sky that beams lights of gold and orange,
your voice that rolls like music over the hills,
the sea that we splashed in that morn.

i am afraid, and love.
i love, and am afraid.

let me show you it's okay to be both.

//

this post is dedicated to you all because one hundred of you beautiful cupcakes decided to follow along. and it's also dedicated to the start of 2016, so it's appropriate :)

thank you thank you thank you my sweet little peas for ONE HUNDRED FOLLOWERS

((you can't see me right now but i'm like dancing all over the place))

i adore you all, and i'm so glad i made this journey with YOU.

i couldn't have asked for anyone better to cheer my days up with incredible comments, and read my posts, and appreciate my writing even when i didn't, and forgave my awful hiatus(es) when i didn't have anything i thought good enough to post. i might not have met you in real life but you, YES, you darling, are incredible.

i am so thankful to God for you!

and, darling, have a smashing 2016.

♥

ghosts of yesterday

tumblr

i fell in love with his eyes first, those sparkling green orbs that shone like the sea.
then, his hands. rough and brown from the years of war, silent painful stories buried in his veins.
next, his smile. that crooked and crinkly grin that slipped when he forgot his mask.

oh, the years we had together were the golden days. he brought me wild flowers from our backyard, scattered among the thorns so his hands got rougher as our home grew lovelier. and i loved them. he started school for the villagers in our little home, so we could spend time with the children we could never have. and i loved them, oh so much. he, both of us, worked so hard to make our life perfect, and for a time, it was.

we spent marvellous years together, but as he grew older, i watched as he slowly slipped into the untold stories of his war years. i would hold him as he woke up, forehead beading with sweat and eyes glowing with fear. i stroked his hand as the fever worsened and ebbed away and came back even stronger. i cried silently as the doctor gave me little hope to cling to, and cradled the head of curly brown.

and finally, when i was just another ghost from his yesterday, i told him to let go.

i buried him in our backyard, where he was the happiest gathering flowers to brighten my days. with only the wild flowers and thorns to watch him as he slept in peace for eternity.

((this is so sad but i guess it reminds me not to take any moment with loved ones for granted))
hope you had a meeeerry christmas! may God's love continue to shine in your lives.

y'all have all my love <3

xx

oh my soul, look & remember

from tumblr

sifting through the dust of yesterday
buried so deep it was hard to breathe
what do i say when words fail
and silence crushes my soul

i will look
to the sky, where Your glory lives
to the sea, where Your mercy washes
to the wind, where Your voice thunders
to the Babe, where Your love shines

i will remember
that when my lips fail to speak
and my body wastes away
when the daylight turns to stormy clouds
the cold waves fill the void

i will know
You are everlasting
perfect
my soul will rest in Your holy name

and upon my broken pieces
i will build my altar

whyyy, 'ello again. it's been a while, hasn't it? i'm so sorry i've been gone for ages, i have been struggling to write something delicious and beautiful for a while now and the words are just swirling in my head but i can't get them out. shoutout to writers/bloggers who can write things almost all the time 'cause y'all amazing. seriously it takes some serious talent. ;)

i went on an impromptu trip to visit my uncle out in the country, so maybe that's helped with inspiration heehee. i've missed you all, and i do realise i have A LOT of tags to catch up on (i'm so embarrassed, really ugh). but thank you all for sticking around on this journey. God has been so good to me and i'm just overwhelmed with His love. may you realise that this week as well Ü

sending so much love ♥

christmas? christmas.

i know this is almost two months too early, but it feels like Christmas today.

yeah, even though it's like 28ºC and humidity 71% with expected thunderstorms in the afternoon and no snow, it feels like Christmas.

i'm sitting here in my garden with the fresh smell of sunning clothes and a cup of homemade cold chrysanthemum tea and my brain keeps shouting christmas, christmas, christmas for some queer reason and i feel very, very happy. (honestly, i have no idea how stuff up there works.) even though i know I'll regret this in the afternoon when i have tons of exam studying to catch up on, i just wanted to take the time to appreciate today for the beauty that God placed everywhere.

i'm pretty sure it's because the awful hazy weather broke yesterday with early morning thunderstorms that cleared the air. i haven't seen the blue sky in ages, and it's absolutely glorious to behold. Christmas lullaby music is blaring sweetly in my earphones (we're on away in a manger now).

and i'm just so in awe that God knows exactly how to paint with the colours of nature. do you ever get that sometimes? and maybe it feels like Christmas because i'm once again exclaiming how marvellous God is and that's what Christmas is all about.

//update: i found an ant enjoying my tea.//

where to find yourself (ii.)

you'll find yourself in the quiet whispers of dawn

where the horizon spills with pastel magic

where the breeze bursts with hope

for a new day

is a new chance

to be you

you'll find yourself in the raging of the storm
where the rain dances down the window
in scattered patterns only you can see
and you'll let hate all out
and take love all back in

you'll find yourself where the seas meet the sand
where the wind cries glory, glory, glory
you will take a deep breath
and let the salty aura
tangle deep into your soul


/

you're lost now,

but go, find yourself

life is too short

to pretend to be someone else

♥
// part i. how to find a home //
// part ii. where to find yourself //

also, i'm TONS sorry for being MIA for so long. i finished my job attachment last friday, and had some final report thingies to submit and things got a little crazy. had lots of loose ends to tie up hehe.

gonna catch up with all the cool stuff y'all posted over this week <3<3 *HUGS*

p.s.: IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY TOO WHEEE hehe.

hurrah for year eighteen! i'm so excited to see where the Lord will bring me in this upcoming year.

little things {16-25}

the little happy things: i.

16. Hugs (and more hugs).

17. Learning new things about people you love.
18. Wind that leaves you gasping for more.

19. Sleep.

20. The color of silence.
21. Blogs that shout "this.is.me."
22. Old friends.
23. Coffee and whipped cream..
24. Comfy clothes you look good in.
25. Smiling at a random stranger, and having them smile back.

Dance. Smile. Giggle. Marvel. Trust. Hope. Love. Wish. Believe. Most of all, enjoy every moment of the journey, and appreciate where you are at this moment instead of always focusing on how far you have to go.

mandy hale

The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

it's so easy to forget the little things in life that make you live.

making lists are a good way of remembering them; i'd recommend it hehe ツ

have a lovely weekend, everyone

♥

hush, hush

/tumblr/

i'm sitting here, in the brightly-lit lobby. nerves tumbling, palms sweating, hands trembling. waiting for the clock to tell me that it's time. new things are hard to do, new people are hard to meet, new mistakes are hard to forgive.

the boy sits across the room, reclined on a chair, fingers absentmindedly stroking his guitar. i forget my nerves for a moment as i watch his fluid movements. the guitar is coloured like the earth i'm so familiar with, like the soil and dirt i want to be sitting on, laughing and smiling.

but i am here.

in this artificially clean and spotless place that is lit too brightly with fluorescent lights, making it hard to gaze into people's souls. my eyes hurt from the light reflecting off the shiny marble floor.

i leave and use the bathroom one, two, three times before i settle again on my chair. the fabric of my skirt is harsh against my thigh and my body is itching to be free again. the clock still has not moved and time has never moved more slowly.

the lobby empties of the morning crowd and soon, it is just me and the boy with the slender fingers stroking his guitar in a calming, rhythmic way. it's hypnotising, and i see the warm, fresh smell of earth surrounding each stroke as it dies away into the next. my heart beat slows from its excited state and falls into a pulsating pattern to match his movements.

the boy looks up. after what seems like eternity, our eyes break away and he stands up to leave.

i don't have to look back at the clock to know it's time.

//

i started job shadowing a local hospital on monday, and it has been such a great experience so far. this is something i drafted while waiting in the lobby on monday morning. every morning i wake up nervous about me screwing up and looking stupid, but at the same time excited at what i will learn. if you guys could keep me in prayer or in your thoughts i would appreciate it so, so much ♥♥

i honestly have so much love for you all *hugs*

the 777 challenge

tumblr magic

the 777 challenge

so dearest cally from words passing you by AND the awesome olivia from the summer of 1999 did the thing and TAGGED me for this uber awesome challenge i couldn't pass on.

*hands cally some pretty wildflowers from the mountain because she's a mountain girl*
*showers olivia with bagels & tea bags 'cause her /about/ page tells me she loves them*
(heehee ♥)

sorry if i missed anyone who tagged me! just let me know and i'll edit the post to give you some well-deserved cool things too<3<3

//

the rules are:

• share 7 lines from the 7th page of one of your manuscripts
• tag 7 bloggers

(cally said she "cheated" doing the challenge but i'm definitely doing it wayyy worse meh)

1. firstly, as much as it pains me to admit this, i do not have any legitimate manuscripts of long stories i wrote *cringes and waits for protests from riot crowds* yeah yeah, i know i love writing and everything but i don't actually have a manuscript (??) the closest i have is a book of quotes and thoughts i write down when i'm inspired.
2. secondly, because it's a scribble+doodle book, some of the pages are blank. so the closest i could get for a page seven was page eight *cries*
3. thirdly, i don't even have close to seven lines on that one page sigh. so i'm just sharing everything i wrote on that page.

well. that was a full confession of my failings at following a simple challenge (teehee). here is the long awaited line from my manuscript-that-isn't-really-a-manuscript:

and i cried for all the girls who wouldn't know how beautiful they looked when they woke up with bedheads and scars on their wrists and hearts and pillows damp with tears

i really hope you guys enjoyed this simple post! oh and before i forget, here are seven other amazing bloggers i will tag:

1. laurel from Laurel Crowned
2. ashy from A Piece of My Sky
3. arushee from Unadorned Gifts
4. jollygirl from Reflections of a Jolly Girl
5. bekah from Found and Cherished
6. tane from Fifth Out of Ten
7. rachel from Silent Shadows
8. YOU <3

(there we go. i broke every dang rule of this challenge, good grief, i'm a rebel.)

if y'all have already done it or are not able to for whatever reason, don't stress! ♥

sending so much love from over here *hugs*

Ü

you are worth every second

i will never tell you to stop because you deserve this dance beneath the stars, with the moon casting light on your slender figure and the waves lapping at your feet.

i will never tell you to wait because you are called to run further than i can ever imagine, to the well where the sun rests in gleaming pools and the water cascades into the rocky light.


and when you come back for me after five, ten, fifteen years, i'll be here waiting.

we will sit down for tea and you will ask me how i have been.

and i will say that i have never been better.

and you will do that smile again, and we will laugh and remember the old days and pretend that we could go back in time. but we can't, and we won't, and all we have now are memories of things long dead and buried.

we will visit our old graves and point to the fields where we lay in long ago with hands intertwined and heads tilted towards the sun.

we will do this, just you and me, and we will be happy.


then you will take off again into the unknown. too soon, too fast for me to say i loved, love, and will always love

you.

//

i hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it!

have a beautiful weekend, everyone.

sending so much love from over here *hugs* ♥

to credit the bloggers for the idea to this piece will take exceptionally long because everyone i've been reading has been so inspiring of late ♥♥ this is the result of reading all of y'all blogs and going "ugh, my heart" every.single.time. but i want to give an special mention to ADDY for her three little pigs post because that has been the main inspiration for this. ♥ (okay this is really ramble-y now, i'll stop *grins*).

b • r • e • a • t • h • e

tumblr love

breathe.

eat some ice cream.

look up and count the clouds.

breathe.

close your eyes against the sun.

see the black swimming against your eyelids before--

breathe.

it's funny how quiet things are in your mind.

the world, there's too much.

breathe.

noise.

it's too harsh and bright. not now.

breathe.

ouch. your legs have gone numb.
how long have you been here?

breathe.

if you stopped moving long enough

will the world stop?

breathe?

(yes, breathe.

don't stop; that's good.)

breathe.

the word breathe sounds funny here.

it sounds light and passing and trivial.

breathe.

it doesn't sound like it will last.

not forever, anyways.

breathe.

how long will yours last?

long enough to make more people smile, you hope.

breathe.

you feel the sun warming the grass.

it's time to wake up.

//

askdsdjkkjl

to be honest, i don't even know what i just wrote.

just some random thoughts and feelings floating around in me that i had to write down.

i just had to pen it down even if it doesn't just quite make sense, you know that feel? ツ

comment your thoughts on this piece below, pretty please? :) ♥

i really, really want to hear what you think of it!

♥♥♥

how to find a home

it's fiction time (vii.)

creds: tumblr magic

we sat with our faces turned towards the dying sun that evening. there was a queer, unsettled feeling of beauty that made the air around us light with expectation. i guess we all felt the same; we were just kids, fresh out of the college, not at all ready to face the world.

tomorrow, we would all leave to different parts of the world. life, cruel but beautiful life, had finally called us apart after four years of college life. so we sat there, our fingers intertwined and our breaths fogging in the cool evening.

          "you figure we'll ever see each other again?"

of course dylan had to ask such a question. the dear idiot, he was gonna make me tear up. and i had promised liam not to get rachel started before tomorrow's airport farewell.

i rolled my eyes, more to prevent tears from building up than from annoyance.

          "sure we will. best friends will always find each other, won't they?"

(oh rachel, that wasn't helping with the general teary mood. crying was infectious. i wasn't going to be the one to start the chain reaction.)

i nodded, not trusting my voice to hold steady for long if i spoke. as if he could hear my thoughts, liam gently squeezed my hand. i squeezed back harder, trying to channel my emotions to the shoulder that i hoped could bear the burden better.

//

we only found the desire to leave long after the sun had sunk behind the rounded tops of the hills. even then, we had to drag our feet, wearily. the battle had not even begun, but weary travellers we were.

but i was a weary traveller with a home. i had found my home among these three messed-up, imperfect friends who loved me for the imperfect girl i was. we were leaving each other, sure. but what is friendship without trials? what is love without hardships?

and somehow, now the distance between our destinations was smaller, because our hearts had found a home together.



{sorry i haven't posted in a bit! internet connection hasn't been always steady with us travelling all over the place. also, i didn't realised how much i missed writing until i started it again ♥  love you all so much xxx.}

don't forget

"she walked with darkness

dripping off her shoulders

i've seen ghosts

brighter than her soul"

x tumblr x

don't you dare look me in the eye
and tell me
you're not good enough
we both know that
is not true

there's a difference
oh, honey, there is,
between loving others
and loving yourself

you can love and love
other humans
you see the brightness
in their eyes when they
smile
the quiet movements
that speak volumes

but darling,
you have forgotten
how to love yourself

you have forgotten how to
see the brightness in your eyes
when you laugh
you have stopped loving
the soft smile
gracing your lips

oh, you are not perfect
none of us are
but there's Someone who loves
you deeper
than you could ever love yourself
He makes your flaws
your weaknesses
perfect
in His strength

don't you dare forget that

i just got back from church camp, and it was such a great and refreshing time spent with lovely people. i'm working on getting my writing/blogging schedule up again, which is a tad challenging because my family and i are leaving overseas for a month tomorrow x_x but it's gonna be exciting!

also, i'm just curious: do you guys like it/check back if i reply your comments? i'm not sure if y'all actually notice haha. you all leave the sweetest and loveliest comments, by the way ♥♥

stay beautiful xxx.

/bitterness/

it all starts in the little things. the things that no one sees or cares about. but you do. you remember them. and you keep them in the little sealed drawer at the back of your heart, and you leave it, thinking it won't matter. but then it gets bigger, and the little drawer starts to grow. little things suddenly become big, and you wonder why nobody but you notices, why nobody listens or wants to listen to you.

and then your anger builds. slowly at first, but then faster and faster and faster. it spins out of control, and you feel mistreated in every circumstance. you ponder and mull on it at night. your hands rip pieces of paper into shreds. you glare and punch the bedpost, until you just wind up crying on the floor. and everything seems to lose its meaning. even the bluest sky seems sad. colours don't hold as much meaning as before. love is meaningless. pain is fresh and sharp.

the scary thing is, you don't know you're hurtling towards bitterness, like a ship being hurtled by the waves into the jagged rocks. it spins out of control, leaving you breathless, with a stubborn, bitter heart.

and no one can heal it but Jesus.

just a reminder for myself to let go, and let God.

found this in my old posts; reposting it because i'm needing this reminder.

and also because i'm suffering from an acute writer's block right now.

it's like the worst thing ever to want to write something but being unable to write anything. 

ugh, anyone have any tips for overcoming writer's block?

maybe more chocolate? (ha)

real or not real.

“You,” he said, “are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world,

and that, I believe is why you are in so much pain.”

-emilie autumn-

the asylum for wayward victorian girls

via tumblr

Please, don't stop. Don't stop being authentic and real and contagious with life to be lived. I might not know the quiet details of your life, but I know this: you are unashamed of joy and proud to smile. In that few spaces of time I saw you, your smile spoke more truth than any conversation I could have had with you. It wasn't just a smile; it was one of few genuine ones I have seen. And that blessed my soul today. You are something real, in a terribly false world. Pain is gonna come, but don't stop.

Don't you dare be afraid to stop

loving, giving, living.

Because darling, after all, what's life without these?

//

my (imaginary) first meeting with you,

my lovely readers

i hope this made your eyes smile today

because that, my friend, is one of the beautiful(est) smiles

♥

imperfection + happy (belated) v-day

(i know i just posted yesterday, but i did pre-write this post specifically for v-day, so haha.

whatever, in any case, i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it xx)

i am not perfect.

Sometimes, I find myself having to constantly

Replay this little phrase in my head.

i am not perfect. i am not perfect.

Thoughts of anger

and bitterness swell,

They steal the joy for

others' triumphs,

They wrangle the contentment

at the simple joys of life.

i cannot be perfect.

Perfection may be is something

I will never be able to attain.

/a • tel • o • pho • bia/

Fear of imperfection.

Fear of never being

Good enough for myself,

Much less

a n y o n e

but i forget

i was never called

to be perfect

on my

own

He tells me:

"There is no

Fear

In Love"

there is no fear

in

l o v e


I'm soaked in His Love
Constant
Unending
Everlasting

Through my imperfections
He shines
Perfect
Beautiful
Holy


I remember now

I was never called to be perfect

I was called

To Love
To Glorify
To Reflect

Him


"I must decrease, and He must increase"


:: "if i told you i was perfect, i would have been lying" ::

{cite}

tumblr image
1 John  4:18

John 3:30
quote off the internet

{a little valentine's / single-awareness day / love post for all my readers who i heart. hope this blesses your day.

also, i'm been obsessed with smoothies in a completely weird way. they're so good ugh xx}

back into His arms

(note: this is a word-filled, picture-less post sorry xx)

I suck at being a Christian.

No kidding.

I'm too easily distracted // Wilfully distracted by things I know will drive my attention away from important things. Staying away from distractions is hard, and it needs discipline, and sometimes (more often than not) I get tired. I get tired of fighting to be focused. I get tired of turning away when I see something, not necessarily bad but not necessarily vital for my emotional/spiritual/mental/social wellbeing either.

I'm too easily put off // Doubting people's (often) sincere intentions. I get upset when people misunderstand me. I am frustrated at people's stereotype of who they think I am. And the worst part, I am put off by my own inability to love like Christ.

I'm too easily bought over // Lies, the lies of this world, are a plenty. Many of them are half-truths, some are blatant lies, others are white lies. You give me a sad story that I can empathise with, and chances are I'll side with you. Better yet if you get a hold of my fragile emotions and invoke tears. Sometimes this is good. It helps me relate to people. But, other times, it causes me to question my beliefs based on a single sad story. Like, hey Elisabeth, are you even serious? You have spent all your years understanding the Bible from inside out, knowing that certain things are sins and other things are unto righteousness, and I give you a sad story and you almost immediately side with me? What even? This causes me frustration as I ponder on my fragility and weakness, and my incapability to stand firm.

Something happened earlier today that made me lose control and become the broken and confused monster that never really left me when I accepted Christ. I cannot understand why sometimes God allows these to happen, but I think know that through these I am made perfect in my weakness. My weakness is what makes me human, and it is also what makes me need Christ. Christianity is all about relying on Someone other than yourself to save you; some people say they would rather save themselves, but honey, how can you save yourself when you don't know what you're saving yourself from?

It's almost one AM now, and I'm probably the only one awake in my home. It's quiet, and I finally have time to think and wonder, what is one thing in my life that I would die for. Because really, that's the motivation of my life. I used to say without thinking, Jesus Christ. But if I'm really honest with myself, truly truly honest, I don't even know what to say.

Academic motivations and plans for the future cloud my vision of Christ right now, and I can't see Him clearly. Entertainment and music musk the sweet smell of His presence. I know I know I know. But knowing, it's not enough.

Where to start? Where to begin to erase the dirts and smudge marks I've made over the once clear image of Him?

I guess I have to start where I started once.

Back in His arms.

storm of lies | it's fiction time (iv.)

via tumblr

let the words burn as they leave your throat
chilling the air around you
he asked for it, no one can blame
your patience that is worn
so thin

let the seas roar as they rush
down, down
to the pool beneath your feet
no apologies, not now
not ever

let the skies rumble as black clouds darken
eyes like a storm of grey
turn, turn
you are the eye of the storm
calm and raging

let the wind howl
let the storm rage
let your love be lost in the gale
it has happened before
it will happen again

but you will learn to love once more

inspired by:

It’s funny, you only really know what someone thinks of you

when you know what lies they’ve told you.

-doctor who-


today has been a cold, drear day and it felt appropriate to be inspired for this.
and bazinga! it's already february. craaazy.

hope you like this piece as much as i liked to write it
xx.

growing up | repost from 2013

via some tumblr awesomeness

very long ago, when we were still young, when we thought the world revolved around us, when we had no cares in this world, i thought that our time together was forever. that nothing would ever pull us away from being the bestest of friends.

then we all had to grow up.

slowly, but surely, we stopped seeing each other every other day. stopped these, and starting meeting new people, seeing new things, experiencing fresh enjoyments. and, i suppose, that is growing up.

bittersweet memories of how we used to fight, give silent treatment, and then make up again.

of how we used to play like a bunch of hooligans.

of how we used to tell everyone we were siblings.

of how we would exchange secrets, and dream together of the future.

and now, we've gone our separate ways. friends still, just apart for a while.

growing up? maybe, but i've yet to get used to it.

sometimes these memories, carefully stowed safely at the back of my mind, slip out and make me long for times long past. and when i breathe in the fresh and cool night air, the memories of long ago, pleasant and soothing, haunt me, evoking a sense of loneliness for that time. and sometimes, i wish we could just escape back in time, and be who we were.

the world kinda gets complicated once you're older, doesn't it?

more cares, more responsibilities, more duties to fulfill.

and i just want to freeze that moment, back in time, and remember everything.

i've learnt to treasure those memories, every single one.

“Growing apart doesn't change the fact that
for a long time we grew side by side;
our roots will always be tangled.
I'm glad for that.” 

- Ally Condie, Matched -

i was looking through my old posts and found this. thought you guys might like reading it again ♥

xx