fearless love

magic from tumblr

i will tell you the things i am afraid of.

i am afraid of the dark when it spirals into oblivion,
of the light that blinds the tender eye,
of second before the storm,
of the song that shreds the heart.

i am afraid of the bright music i hear when you laugh,
of the sky that colours your brown, curly hair,
of your kind voice that says hello,
of the sea that reflects your smiling eyes.

i am afraid.

but, let me tell you what i love.

i love the dark that casts wandering shadows on my face,
the light that patterns the dusty floors,
the storm that rages with passion,
the song that sings through the air.

i love the warmth of your laughter,
the sky that beams lights of gold and orange,
your voice that rolls like music over the hills,
the sea that we splashed in that morn.

i am afraid, and love.
i love, and am afraid.

let me show you it's okay to be both.

//

this post is dedicated to you all because one hundred of you beautiful cupcakes decided to follow along. and it's also dedicated to the start of 2016, so it's appropriate :)

thank you thank you thank you my sweet little peas for ONE HUNDRED FOLLOWERS

((you can't see me right now but i'm like dancing all over the place))

i adore you all, and i'm so glad i made this journey with YOU.

i couldn't have asked for anyone better to cheer my days up with incredible comments, and read my posts, and appreciate my writing even when i didn't, and forgave my awful hiatus(es) when i didn't have anything i thought good enough to post. i might not have met you in real life but you, YES, you darling, are incredible.

i am so thankful to God for you!

and, darling, have a smashing 2016.

♥

little things {16-25}

the little happy things: i.

16. Hugs (and more hugs).

17. Learning new things about people you love.
18. Wind that leaves you gasping for more.

19. Sleep.

20. The color of silence.
21. Blogs that shout "this.is.me."
22. Old friends.
23. Coffee and whipped cream..
24. Comfy clothes you look good in.
25. Smiling at a random stranger, and having them smile back.

Dance. Smile. Giggle. Marvel. Trust. Hope. Love. Wish. Believe. Most of all, enjoy every moment of the journey, and appreciate where you are at this moment instead of always focusing on how far you have to go.

mandy hale

The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

it's so easy to forget the little things in life that make you live.

making lists are a good way of remembering them; i'd recommend it hehe ツ

have a lovely weekend, everyone

♥

how to find a home

it's fiction time (vii.)

creds: tumblr magic

we sat with our faces turned towards the dying sun that evening. there was a queer, unsettled feeling of beauty that made the air around us light with expectation. i guess we all felt the same; we were just kids, fresh out of the college, not at all ready to face the world.

tomorrow, we would all leave to different parts of the world. life, cruel but beautiful life, had finally called us apart after four years of college life. so we sat there, our fingers intertwined and our breaths fogging in the cool evening.

          "you figure we'll ever see each other again?"

of course dylan had to ask such a question. the dear idiot, he was gonna make me tear up. and i had promised liam not to get rachel started before tomorrow's airport farewell.

i rolled my eyes, more to prevent tears from building up than from annoyance.

          "sure we will. best friends will always find each other, won't they?"

(oh rachel, that wasn't helping with the general teary mood. crying was infectious. i wasn't going to be the one to start the chain reaction.)

i nodded, not trusting my voice to hold steady for long if i spoke. as if he could hear my thoughts, liam gently squeezed my hand. i squeezed back harder, trying to channel my emotions to the shoulder that i hoped could bear the burden better.

//

we only found the desire to leave long after the sun had sunk behind the rounded tops of the hills. even then, we had to drag our feet, wearily. the battle had not even begun, but weary travellers we were.

but i was a weary traveller with a home. i had found my home among these three messed-up, imperfect friends who loved me for the imperfect girl i was. we were leaving each other, sure. but what is friendship without trials? what is love without hardships?

and somehow, now the distance between our destinations was smaller, because our hearts had found a home together.



{sorry i haven't posted in a bit! internet connection hasn't been always steady with us travelling all over the place. also, i didn't realised how much i missed writing until i started it again ♥  love you all so much xxx.}

the start of something new

it's fiction time (vi.)

his eyes were cold. cold, flashing, and dangerous.

but she found something akin to pain in them, the first sign of human-ness she had seen in him. strangely, that gave her hope. hope for what? you may ask. she didn't know either. all she knew was his eyes were very terrible, and very beautiful.

so, in such a manner, they continued along the road, with her sneaking looks at his unchanging face, and him stonily glaring ahead. silence never bothered her, so she was quite comfortable with the arrangement. from time to time, she would talk, he wouldn't respond, and she would continue the one-sided conversation. once, when she was discussing with, well, herself on something particularly silly, just to pass time, she thought she caught an amused flicker of eyes towards her direction.

she didn't know why, but she felt immensely happy.

all images from tumblr

||

i'm slowly beating writer's block guys!

thanks tons for the suggestions y'all gave in the previous post;

they were so very helpful ♥

also, i just have to add that this fiction was inspired by:

the lovely Adelaide Thompson over at Down by the Willows.

her writing is stunning. go on, check her out right now!

P.S.: if you have instagram, go on and follow me @elisab.ethf because i've been on there more recently!

xxx

real or not real.

“You,” he said, “are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world,

and that, I believe is why you are in so much pain.”

-emilie autumn-

the asylum for wayward victorian girls

via tumblr

Please, don't stop. Don't stop being authentic and real and contagious with life to be lived. I might not know the quiet details of your life, but I know this: you are unashamed of joy and proud to smile. In that few spaces of time I saw you, your smile spoke more truth than any conversation I could have had with you. It wasn't just a smile; it was one of few genuine ones I have seen. And that blessed my soul today. You are something real, in a terribly false world. Pain is gonna come, but don't stop.

Don't you dare be afraid to stop

loving, giving, living.

Because darling, after all, what's life without these?

//

my (imaginary) first meeting with you,

my lovely readers

i hope this made your eyes smile today

because that, my friend, is one of the beautiful(est) smiles

♥

imperfection + happy (belated) v-day

(i know i just posted yesterday, but i did pre-write this post specifically for v-day, so haha.

whatever, in any case, i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it xx)

i am not perfect.

Sometimes, I find myself having to constantly

Replay this little phrase in my head.

i am not perfect. i am not perfect.

Thoughts of anger

and bitterness swell,

They steal the joy for

others' triumphs,

They wrangle the contentment

at the simple joys of life.

i cannot be perfect.

Perfection may be is something

I will never be able to attain.

/a • tel • o • pho • bia/

Fear of imperfection.

Fear of never being

Good enough for myself,

Much less

a n y o n e

but i forget

i was never called

to be perfect

on my

own

He tells me:

"There is no

Fear

In Love"

there is no fear

in

l o v e


I'm soaked in His Love
Constant
Unending
Everlasting

Through my imperfections
He shines
Perfect
Beautiful
Holy


I remember now

I was never called to be perfect

I was called

To Love
To Glorify
To Reflect

Him


"I must decrease, and He must increase"


:: "if i told you i was perfect, i would have been lying" ::

{cite}

tumblr image
1 John  4:18

John 3:30
quote off the internet

{a little valentine's / single-awareness day / love post for all my readers who i heart. hope this blesses your day.

also, i'm been obsessed with smoothies in a completely weird way. they're so good ugh xx}

liebster award!

Soooooo, putting aside my obvious MIA for a month or so (mien apologies guys :((( I've been so bad at keeping up), I was nominated for the Liebster Award by the amazing Maisie from Hipster Apocalypse (I knowwww awesome blog name). Thank you thank you thank you so much, dear! I really appreciate it xx. These beauties are for you:

don't they look just amazing i can't guys i really need some right right right now (o, i sound like sound whiney kid eeek. perks of being a teen. you're never quite grown up and you're never quite kiddie enough. ok fine back to the award)

The rules for this tag are the following:

• Post eleven facts about yourself
• Answer the eleven questions provided by the person who nominated you
• Create an eleven question set for the next group of nominees
• Choose eleven people to nominate and link them in this post
• Let your nominees know they’ve been tagged- and no tag-backs!

eleven facts about me:

1. I am in love with food to the point of obsession.
2. I hate writing facts about myself.
3. Because I always can't think of any.
4. That's why I'm inserting these pointless words in place of the facts.
5. Because if you actually bother to read this, you'll see it.
6. But chances are (!!) you'll skip over this and think that I wrote 11 facts.
7. It's quite a good tactic, isn't it?
8. *squeals over my genius-ness*
9. But of course, the first and the last point have to be a valid fact (and a repeated fact at that).
10. To contribute to the illusion, ya know?
11. I am in love with food to the point of obsession.

sorry.

(#notsorry)

maisie's questions:

1. How old are you mentally?

Depends. I can be a curious, crazy six-year-old at time, a mature young adult at others, and just oddly in between at seventeen. I tend to stick in the limbo between thoughtful adulthood and crazy childhood.

2. If you could have dinner with any 3 people in the world (fictional, nonfic, dead or alive) who would they be and why?

Ohh, this is a good one. Um:

1) Sherlock Holmes: his amazing mind and skill of deduction has always astounded me. Of course, he's a fictional character, but it would be swell if I could really meet him haha.

Robert Downey Jr. (YASS) as Holmes

Benedict Cumberbatch (!!) as Holmes

2) Florence Nightingale: I've always been inspired by Nightingale. Her perseverance in the nursing field facing so much discrimination has amazed me countless times.

3) Morgan Freeman: I don't know. I just saw an interview he had with Jimmy Fallon on The Tonight Show and I was laughing so hard. It involved helium, so (ha). Go watch it, and if you're anything like me, laugh laugh and laugh. Because #helium (yasss).

3. What are your 5 favorite names?

Anne, Katie, Deb, Chris, Shawn

(wait it wasn't limit to girl names only right? eek. at this rate, i'll be breaking like all the rules of this award)

4. If you could be proficient in any 2 languages, what would they be?

Chinese (just because I'm a Chinese, and I would love to be proficient at my mother tongue xD) and German (just because it's a pretty amazing language).

5. What was the last movie you watched?

Half of How to Train Your Dragon 2. My parents stopped me when it was getting excited because we had something on (sob). I really need to finish it.

*puts it on mental to-do list*

6. What's your favorite TV show/Movie?

I love all TV shows that are mystery related / no crazy teenage romance etc etc etc. So currently I love love Sherlock, Doctor Who, Elementary, and Once Upon a Time. And I'm presently dyinngggg to watch Guardians of the Galaxy. (fangirl cries)

AKSKNEIWOFBINOCMSP;SLDSJFIAWPIOIEFN
marvel for the winnnnn

7. Apple or Android (or Windows)?

Apple for phone, Windows for PC <3

8. Favorite band?

Sorry, me don't have no favorite band. (Grammar Nazis, shoo shoo)

9. If you had to pick between eternally stuck in pajamas or formal clothes, which would you choose?

PAJAMAS PAJAMAS PAJAMAS PAJAMAS. thanks.

10. What's your favorite music and/or movie genre?

I like slow, jazzy, calming music. And my favorite music are currently from musicals like Defying Gravity, Phantom of the Opera, and Les Mis. :)

11. Where would you be right now if you had life your way?

If I had life my way, honestly, I'll be pretty scared.

Anyways, I probably would be relaxing on a premium cruise ship with loads of money I picked off a tree somewhere in the Bahamas. Just eating, swimming, relaxing, sleeping. (e.g. being a pig that can swim).

YOU KNOW WHAT. I GOOGLED SWIMMING PIGS AND APPARENTLY THERE ARE SUCH THINGS ARE SWIMMING BAHAMAS PIGS. guys i had no idea.

dawwww this is so cute <3<3

So thankfully I don't have life my way, and that my life has been shaped by many God-given factors. (I mean, I don't really relish the idea of being a swimming pig. Frankly, it's not my life goal [ha]).

Nominations:
I don't think I can nominate 11 people, but this was the closest I got (because almost all the bloggers I know have already done it so I had look for new blogs to follow! yayy) :

1. June S
2. Emily
3. Moriah
4. Cindy
5. Eve
6. Kat

(i'll be adding people along the way)

Questions:

1. What one movie totally deserve a sequel?
2. If you were a superhero, what powers would you have?
3. Favorite TV programs/movies that everyone needs to watch?
4. Who are your top 5 fictional role models?
5. Would you rather be in a: freezing cold arctic, or sweltering hot desert?
6. Would you risk your life to save another stranger's life?
7. Favorite place to go?
8. Have you ever been in a food fight and how was the experience like?
9. If you were a ruler of a country, what would you call it?
10. What about the opposite gender will you never be able to understand?
11. Which historical period would you choose to live in?

x-x-x-x

I always love doing blog awards. Your questions are always da bomb. So fun to do. My school is starting soon, and I might be busier, but I'll still try to do them. As always, thank you thank you to Maisie for the nominations and for everyone else who nominated me but haven't seen my post on the award yet but I assure you it's coming this is already a run on sentence which no one will probably read i actually sound pretty rambly and strange nvm

How you all bear with me I have no idea, but thank you and

l o v e

xx.

<all images via tumblr and the good 'ol internet>

imagine | conversations in my head (ii.)

via tumblr

if you grade me from one to ten, where would i fall?

into my a r m s

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

you know how sometimes, there are these little imaginary conversations in your head that just stick around. i get them all the time, and because i don't know where else to share them, i'm starting a blog series called:

what do you lovely people think? 

i'm tagged! (the this or that tag)

So.

{I just had to include this picture, sorry. It's so happy.}

I want to give a big shoutout (complete with firecrackers and colorful jellies) to Natasha from Savoring Each Moment and Neeli Vancore from A World of Randomness. They awarded me with the This or That Tag (!!!) and they're amazing so go check out their blogs :)

And just a note, they awarded me this like ages ago but I didn't have time to do it till now (I know, terrible, but I was having exams, so that excuse would have to suffice).

Hair up or down? I'm good with both. But hair definitely up on hot days. Dessert or fruit? Dessert for me, anytime. Unless the dessert is a fruit, which I'm totally okay with. On another note, I've been making gluten free apple crisps like nobody's business and love it so so much. Can I just say how good it is cold or hot? It's de-licious, and so flippin' easy to make. Okay I'm done. :) Dress or shirt and sweatpants? Depends on the occasion. I way prefer t-shirts and sweatpants, though. Comfort is top of my list. One Direction or Jonas Brothers? ...I'm going to have to say One Direction, just because I'm not to familiar with the Jonas Brothers. That being said, I ain't a directioner okay. But (to pacify you Directioners), they have great voices. :) Radio or iPod? iPod for me please.

Sleepover at your house or at a friend's house? Friends. Just because my house is probably too full of siblings prying through cracks in the walls and listening at keyholes to have a proper sleepover. And too many little ones to be too crazy at night without bringing down the wrath of The Mother upon us (ha ha). Cookies or apples? Is this even like a valid question. It would be cookies, duh. *chants* cookies! cookies! cookies! I love Cookie Monster by the way. <3<3<3 Oh, and Subway cookies as well.  Playing cards or painting? Neither. I don't play cards, and I can't paint or draw or do anything that requires me to portray realistic things. I can do impressionistic doodling though. (!!!) In a board game, would you rather be a green or a white piece? GREEN. SAVE THE ENVIRONMENT. Sorry, I just had to say that. I don't really care about the color actually. I would rather take a bar of chocolate and use bits of it as pieces (of course I have to eat it as I go, otherwise it's no fun). (But then it'll melt and get the board and everything sticky, so.)

I'll be posting updates for what has been going on these past few (silent months) in a few days. Life has been busy, fun, crazy exciting. Like a roller-coaster ride. Which I love. Anyways, have a great summer! Go do something amazing.

xx.

peter pan and the paradox of growing up

via tumblr

when i was little, i loved peter pan. he was amazing, and i felt a thrill rush through me every time i watched wendy and the two boys escape to neverland with him. i never really understand why peter pan didn't want to grow up; i was dying to. i wanted to be old enough to go out and see the world, dress up, put on makeup, and wear heels. but now, i can see why growing up can be painful.

growing up is a thing i have to face always, on a daily basis. frankly, it often scares me stiff when i picture me in five, ten years. or even in the next few months. only four more years to twenty, and sixteen years have passed by just as quickly as the wind blows. adulthood staring me in the face, beckoning at times and yet, frightening at others. i'm not sure i'm ready for it. there are so many more responsibilities when you're grown up. more privileges, yes, but certainly more responsibilities as well. many i was just too idealistic when i was younger. adulthood isn't all that carefree as i pictured it. and sometimes i wish i could just do nothing and slouch around on the couch, eating chips (i might just end up with a bigger belly this holidays), and sleep. but that's not reality.

i don't want to grow up, and yet i want to. it's a paradox (don't you just love that word? the creators of the english language were poetic even in the phonetics) that i have to face. i want freedom and excitement and fun that adulthood brings, but i don't want the responsibilities and cares. i know that's terrible, because i need be be able to handle these sort of things. that's why it always comforts me when i remember that i can cast all my cares on Him, for He can and will carry me through. it's beautiful, really, when i think about it.

p.s: read a post i wrote over summer on growing up.

and it's mid-november

all photos || via some cool place on tumblr

and hallo, it's already mid-november with a month (only a month!) to the busiest time of the year, Christmas. i don't really know how i've been doing. last week, at the conference, i saw so many people i've missed for the past few years and it was exciting to see what they had been up to and how God was at work in their lives. but when they ask me how i've been doing, i put on a great big smile (that is probably too huge to be genuine and would make the cheshire cat proud) and say i'm doing great. wonderful. fabulous. gobstopasmashing. which isn't totally true of course, but one doesn't expect a torrent of little picky problems to come tumbling out when asked "how have you been."

i don't really know how to answer them anyways. at that moment, i feel alright. ready and brave to conquer fresh problems. but within the next hour, i'm wallowing in a hole of depression and self-pity, which i know is not healthy. mood swings that others tell me it's normal to have at this age. but i don't like this normal. can't normal be joyful and peaceful? i've just been really tired maybe. too tired from focusing too much on the little things in life and missing out on the big picture God has for me. there are so many distractions, so, so many for a teenage girl living in a society that simply parades distractions. and i just have to keep reminding myself: when tired, rest. rest in the peace only He can give.

(anyways, i was just thinking the other day how nice it would be to go travelling for a few months some vague time in the future. see the world that God's created. just thinking about it makes me happy. oh! and in addition, i saw that jocee is having a giveaway of really cool stuff so go on, check her out. you won't be disappointed. {this is a sort of anticlimactic/rambly end to the entire thoughtful ambiance of this post. well, deal with it; that's just my personality ha. and yes, i've missed this dear little place to share my thoughts and with you all. glad to be back after a month of hectic busyness!})

♥

the little happy things {1-15}

1. when the strangers you smile at smile back

2. screaming and cheering during games

3. looking into people's eyes and seeing something you never saw before

4. picking up the school vibe

5. listening to disney music

6. rainy afternoons curled up in your bed

7. colorful stationary and accessories that make you happy

8. smelling coffee brewing in the kitchen on a rainy day

9. having blurry conversations before dropping off to sleep

10. eating the best cookies two days in a row

11. daydreaming about nothing much, really
12. yelling singing out favorite music in random situations
13. scraping off the whipped cream from the cake and eating it
14. when your brother tells you you're pretty
15. listening over and over again the chords of a beautifully sad song

//

{inspired by jenn}

today is prissy's birthday. happy birthday darling. you're an awesome leetle sister and i just wanted you to know that ♥

blog award! and cool stuff like that

yay!

the following cyber cookie + whipped cream latte is for amelia who nominated me for the versatile blogger award, along with fifteen other fun bloggers!

thanks, dear :)

so these are peeps i nominate. very versatile and lovely people they are (in no special order):

1. Storia by anna (life, dreams, photography)
2. The Cupcake Dictionary by jocee (life, fangirling, cupcakes -yay-)
3. Rachel Nicole by rachel (life, family, photography/videography)
4. A Lavender Sea by tessa (life, travels, family)
5. The Lone Sparrow by lizabeth (reflections, photography)
6. Hannah Elise by hannah (photography, life)
7. Carlotta Cisternas by carlotta (life, photography, thoughts)
8. Unoriginal Originality by jenn (life, photography, fun stuff)
9. Bonfire Hearts by johanna (thoughts, life, photography, love)
10. Standard T by toyoshi (fashion, lifestyle, life, photography)
11. In Reckless Abandon by marcia (photography, life, love)
12. Brave by amy (thoughts, life, photography)
13. Yours Truly... by jess (photography, life, thoughts, coffee)
14. Grace's Garden Walk by grace (photography, life, thoughts, love)
15. Finding Beauty by mikailah (photography, life)

if you’re one of the lovely bloggers that I nominated, here’s what you have to do:

1. display the Award Certificate on your blog.
2. announce your win with a post (like this one!). make sure you post a link back to whoever nominated you as a ‘thank you’ for the nomination.
3. present the award to your own fifteen deserving bloggers.
4. leave each of the nominees a comment to let them know you’ve nominated them after you have linked them to your post.
5. post seven interesting things about yourself.

all good? cool stuff. so now, seven interesting things about myself:

1. a bag of jellies/chocolates won't last a day with me.
2. i like colors. immensely.
3. i love heights.
4. i try to make random strangers laugh, and i love laughing myself.
5. my favorite thing to do ever is to sleep in on rainy mornings. and then wake up to hot, english breakfast + good book.
6. i'm a foodie. i take this very seriously.
7. i think i'm a pretty optimistic person (that means positive person, right?).
8. whipped cream and latte forever.

lest you think i'm a rebel kid and can't follow simple instructions such as ONLY seven things about myself, the last one's not something about me. it's just like a footnote, that tells you where i stand in the important issue of starbucks and coffee.

♥

i'm on blog lovin'!

via

hi dears,

so i finally went to create a blog lovin' for myself and notice the pretty new button at the side there? i really like this colors. turquoise greenish.

yayy so go follow me on blog lovin' if you have an account! and if you don't have an account, go create one! because they send you free cyber chocolate everyday! [well, maybe they don't and that's just a stupid lame lie]. fine, they don't send you free chocolate, but its so convenient to read your blogs that you won't crave for chocolate anymore!

i'm not making sense. nothing would ever make me stop craving chocolate.

but you get the point. right? :)))

xoxo.


[don't judge me. i have just done three chem practice quizes. my eyes are hurting.]
♥♥

sugar overload

typography by me :: via

yesterday, the amount of sugar consumed was cra-zy.

muffins in the morning + brownies in the afternoon + waffles + whipped cream + ice cream for dessert = very majorly serious headache by the end of the day.

[we had dessert at swensens, and our entire family was going bonkers at the table. luke decided that he was on a ninja mission (darling!) and repeatedly shot everyone until we were "very dead." the rest of us were on a sugar high.]

i didn't think at first that the sugar had anything to do with the headache, but my mom said it did. and moms are usually 95% of the time correct, aren't they? [well, maybe] so, i checked it out, and sure enough. sugar can cause headaches.

"...if you consume large amounts of sugar at one time, your body may go into a state of hyperglycemia which results in a headache that may linger for days."

thankfully though, i woke up this morning happy and bursting rainbows [which is a good thing by the way].

i felt very green and blue [which are happy colors, meaning i felt over the rainbow].

the sugar intake must have been so much that it made itself into rainbows! :)

now i'm too sweet. [hahah, get it?]

ps: well that was lame.

pps: ohoh. laser tag was pretty awesome. i had a amazing time being a ninja [see where luke got it from?]

ppps: if you noticed, i might have some of the leftover sugar from last night causing a sugar high.

pppps: rainbow sugar forever!