/bitterness/

it all starts in the little things. the things that no one sees or cares about. but you do. you remember them. and you keep them in the little sealed drawer at the back of your heart, and you leave it, thinking it won't matter. but then it gets bigger, and the little drawer starts to grow. little things suddenly become big, and you wonder why nobody but you notices, why nobody listens or wants to listen to you.

and then your anger builds. slowly at first, but then faster and faster and faster. it spins out of control, and you feel mistreated in every circumstance. you ponder and mull on it at night. your hands rip pieces of paper into shreds. you glare and punch the bedpost, until you just wind up crying on the floor. and everything seems to lose its meaning. even the bluest sky seems sad. colours don't hold as much meaning as before. love is meaningless. pain is fresh and sharp.

the scary thing is, you don't know you're hurtling towards bitterness, like a ship being hurtled by the waves into the jagged rocks. it spins out of control, leaving you breathless, with a stubborn, bitter heart.

and no one can heal it but Jesus.

just a reminder for myself to let go, and let God.

found this in my old posts; reposting it because i'm needing this reminder.

and also because i'm suffering from an acute writer's block right now.

it's like the worst thing ever to want to write something but being unable to write anything. 

ugh, anyone have any tips for overcoming writer's block?

maybe more chocolate? (ha)