the song of us | here's a piece of my heart (ii)

It was a quiet Saturday evening. Those kinds of evenings when it seemed you could just sink into the deep silence and silently fall through the cracks to the other dimension, slipping into a million melodies just waiting to be discovered.

We met by accident.

You were a warm, pulsating melody that swelled and eased like the tide. Notes hurriedly strung together as you attempted to construct a greeting. (I ended up receiving an unintentional compliment, not that I'm complaining about it.) I didn't know much, but I knew I really wanted to hear your tune over and over again.

Walking with you down corridor after corridor, finding excuses to somehow prolong our conversation--I laugh as I catch myself mid thought. Your eyebrows raise and I laugh again because you look so ridiculous. Really ridiculous. There is not a chance I would tell this to you now, I think to myself. Maybe next time when we have years of friendship behind us. Maybe next time.

We meet once, twice, many times more after that. It's built on friendly excuses, until you finally tell me that you love the tune I play, the trills and occasional random arpeggios thrown into the score that lilts on. For that moment my heart sings because, me too! Man, how blessed can I get? And I tell you, this time out loud, I have fallen for your warm chords and deep tunes.

And thus, the song of you and me began.

You slowly help me mend the cracks of silence that had threatened to swallow me. We seal them, but leave enough space for the haunting melodies to filter through. I liked it better that way, I told you. Then I can still discover the undiscovered melodies. You laughingly joke that it's alright, as long as I still loved your tune the most. What a silly thing to say! That is something that will never change.

Whenever you laugh, I want the whole world to see how it colours my world and sets my heart skipping the occasional beat. But I suppose, some things are best loved alone.

I don't think you know how deeply I feel in love with you, but it's more than I can ever bring myself to say or admit. We write melodies and paint them in silver and pastel, and the tune goes on and on.

I have found the one whom my soul loves.

//

wow a FOUR MONTH hiatus ??? what is life

this post is long looOOong overdue but i legitimately just wrote it a few hours ago
(that's how little i've been writing for the past few months i'm ashamed)

it's fresh off the press, yall.

(also i just got a TON of cake samples. God is good. love u all muchly)

here's a piece of my heart | part i.

image from tumblr

7.15am again, and I am sitting precariously on the rusty chair of this forlorn coffee shop.

You are sitting across the table and every fibre in my body is straining to keep my eyes on the steam wistfully pooling around the cup's rim. Because I can't swim and your eyes are too deep for me to stay afloat.

I crack a joke and cringe as it falls flat, but you must know that humour is my self defence because you laugh and ask if everything's going on alright.

And for that moment I almost lose myself. I want tell you everything I know. That you make me feel like the most beautiful person when I'm around you. That the stars shine the brightest in your eyes when you laugh. That π is a perfect name for your dog. That even though I teach formulas for a living, I'll never begin to solve the puzzle of how I fell for the lonely man in the coffee shop.

But I don't, because you are grinning again and I know my story is a sad one, one that would stain your smile and hang heavily on your heart.

So I sit there and laugh like I'm fine as we joke over simpler things that matter less and gaze at the town as it slowly wakens through the frosted windows. And for that moment I can pretend that all is well with the world.

[ at 8.00am I leave ]

//

HELLO MY DEAREST PEOPLE. I'm so sorry for dropping off the face of this planet but college has been incredible (but crazy, incredible crazy, crazily incredible, heh) so I haven't been around this space forever. I've missed this but it takes awhile to start my writing engine again. I'm thinking of having a part 2 (!!) so hang around for it alright!! Hope your holidays have been going on beautifully; I know mine has ♥ I"VE MISSED THIS SO MUCH AKSAJDSJDKLSJDA it's good to be back (for however long, it's still good.)

field of dreams

the colours leak from the shadows
and a faint lavender glow is scattered through the field
i am here--
again.
i lick my cracked lips
and then sit
before the silence strangles me,

it is the time before darkness and light
the moon slowly melts into the paled sky
the lost dreams are creeping back into night
my heart, strange and hollow
i can feel it--
aching,

i want to scream into the horizon
with its fading stars
and tell them--
wait.
i have no words left in me
and no strength left to shout,

but i am the girl that chased tomorrow!
i saw the wells of light at the end of the worlds
i cried for all the broken dreams
and laughed at the ones that bloomed
i am freckled with sun
bathed with tears
i've seen the sky cry at dusk
and the ocean spilt by lightning,

why have i come to this field?
i can't quite--
remember.
there are dead visions buried here
i know it,
the air is filled with tears and sleepless nights
i can taste them on my tongue,

i come to realise
as the time crawls by
that i am just another shadow passing
a ghost of a happier time
sent to watch this field of death
and mourn for my lost--
dream,

//

i hope you like this; i've been thinking a lot about deaths of visions, & how God works through them.

continue to keep me in prayer!

i've been busy with college apps & interviews & internships & all the (ahem) fun stuff hahaha.

i'll definitely be popping in and posting/reading your fab posts as much as i can! <3

so much love xx

fearless love

magic from tumblr

i will tell you the things i am afraid of.

i am afraid of the dark when it spirals into oblivion,
of the light that blinds the tender eye,
of second before the storm,
of the song that shreds the heart.

i am afraid of the bright music i hear when you laugh,
of the sky that colours your brown, curly hair,
of your kind voice that says hello,
of the sea that reflects your smiling eyes.

i am afraid.

but, let me tell you what i love.

i love the dark that casts wandering shadows on my face,
the light that patterns the dusty floors,
the storm that rages with passion,
the song that sings through the air.

i love the warmth of your laughter,
the sky that beams lights of gold and orange,
your voice that rolls like music over the hills,
the sea that we splashed in that morn.

i am afraid, and love.
i love, and am afraid.

let me show you it's okay to be both.

//

this post is dedicated to you all because one hundred of you beautiful cupcakes decided to follow along. and it's also dedicated to the start of 2016, so it's appropriate :)

thank you thank you thank you my sweet little peas for ONE HUNDRED FOLLOWERS

((you can't see me right now but i'm like dancing all over the place))

i adore you all, and i'm so glad i made this journey with YOU.

i couldn't have asked for anyone better to cheer my days up with incredible comments, and read my posts, and appreciate my writing even when i didn't, and forgave my awful hiatus(es) when i didn't have anything i thought good enough to post. i might not have met you in real life but you, YES, you darling, are incredible.

i am so thankful to God for you!

and, darling, have a smashing 2016.

♥

imperfection + happy (belated) v-day

(i know i just posted yesterday, but i did pre-write this post specifically for v-day, so haha.

whatever, in any case, i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it xx)

i am not perfect.

Sometimes, I find myself having to constantly

Replay this little phrase in my head.

i am not perfect. i am not perfect.

Thoughts of anger

and bitterness swell,

They steal the joy for

others' triumphs,

They wrangle the contentment

at the simple joys of life.

i cannot be perfect.

Perfection may be is something

I will never be able to attain.

/a • tel • o • pho • bia/

Fear of imperfection.

Fear of never being

Good enough for myself,

Much less

a n y o n e

but i forget

i was never called

to be perfect

on my

own

He tells me:

"There is no

Fear

In Love"

there is no fear

in

l o v e


I'm soaked in His Love
Constant
Unending
Everlasting

Through my imperfections
He shines
Perfect
Beautiful
Holy


I remember now

I was never called to be perfect

I was called

To Love
To Glorify
To Reflect

Him


"I must decrease, and He must increase"


:: "if i told you i was perfect, i would have been lying" ::

{cite}

tumblr image
1 John  4:18

John 3:30
quote off the internet

{a little valentine's / single-awareness day / love post for all my readers who i heart. hope this blesses your day.

also, i'm been obsessed with smoothies in a completely weird way. they're so good ugh xx}

stars | it's fiction time (iii.)

i sat

i watched

i counted the stars

alone, when my heart was heavy

i sat

gazing through an open window

i watched the people pass

they're nothing like the stars

i sat

i watched

and counted the stars

that night i saw you pass

you whistled, carefree

the wind was cool

the air was light

and i smiled

all was well

i sat

and watched

as you pass again

but you stopped and turned

pushed along by the wind of fate

you saw me and smiled

frank, and genuine

beautiful

something i had never felt

blew along that breezy cool night

you asked

i blushed

but said yes all the same

what did you know of the girl you saw

who had nothing to hold on to but the stars?

you climbed up

and sat by me

silence of the beautiful kind

filled the air

now we sit

we watch

we count the stars

together, when our hearts are heavy

we laugh, we cry

more beautiful silence fills the air

the world stands still

but the stars shine on

f o r e v e r


inspired by:

"rescue me, chin boy, and show me the stars."

-clara oswald, doctor who-

#originalpoetry
all images courtesy of tumblr

(i watched guardians of the galaxy (FINALLY) yesterday and asjklwqeopterehncjjdhd IT WAS GOOD.)

(thanks for all the nominations! i'll be doing them soon.)

xxx.

softly we tread

softly we tread
on the stars of dreams
escaped
from deepest slumber


softly we tiptoe
the dreams are waking
colors
leaking from the shadows



softly we tread
past the darkness
back into light


s  o  f  t  l  y

x-x-x

my sister and had a brainwave today and came up with a song that totally matched these words. such a beautiful beautiful tune. can't wait to see if i can share it with you lovelies xx.

#sostoked

hope

all pictures in this post || via tumblr

hope

is the sunlight spilling over the edge of the horizon

the faint breeze tickling the dew-stained grass

it's a baby's first cry

the empty tomb

the reason today is worth living

hope

is love unparalleled

it's faith in the unknown

trust in the unseen

belief in the unfound

h o p e

the medicine for depression

the cure for bitterness

the life-long pursuit the world seeks

if found in the Him,

it's the only ingredient needed for true happiness

sometimes,

i forget

the hope i have

until it's gone

then i remember.

nothing hurts more than crushed hope.

hope deferred makes the heart sick

but when the desire comes,

it is a tree of life

-proverbs 13:12-