a raw collection of words from my heart

30.8.13

photo / video challenge



rachel nicole is hosting a very exciting photo / video challenge that will last the whole of this school year [starting september]. for procrastinators like, ahem, myself, this is definitely going to be a challenge, but i'm going to take this up as a project. pop over to her blog to check out the details of the challenge, and comment to join! besides testing my time management skills, it's also going to hone my creativity, photography, and writing skills.

so join us; it'll be fun :))



ps: oh, do you like the new-ish blog design / header / color scheme / favicon? gah, took me forever to get it right so hope you like it ♥

26.8.13

the progression of bitterness



it all starts in the little things. the things that no one sees or cares. but you do. and you remember them, keeping them in the little sealed drawer at the back of your heart. but then it gets bigger. little things suddenly become big, and you wonder why nobody but you notices. and you feel that nobody listens or wants to listen to you.

and then your anger builds. slowly at first, but then faster and faster and faster. it spins out of control, and you feel mistreated in every circumstance. you ponder and mull on it at night. your hands rip pieces of paper into shreds. you glare and punch the bedpost, until you just wind up crying on the floor. and everything seems to lose its meaning. even the bluest sky seems sad. colors don't hold as much meaning as before. and then you're accelerating towards bitterness. it spins out of control, leaving you breathless, with a stubborn, bitter heart.

and no one can heal it but Jesus.

//

this is me, recently.
just a reminder for myself to let go, and let God.

23.8.13

the terrible process adapting back to school


typography by me :: via


living things adapt.
or so they tell you in primary school.

adapting back to school after like, 3 months of summer, is a different thing altogether. teachers have already started sending emails to remind me to do this and that. aside from feeling "a grief that can't be spoken"*, it has been relatively exciting. i like colors. so i'm making sure most of my stationary this year are colorful and happy, to detract from the sadness of reading tiny tiny words in the textbooks.

but i had so much fun this summer. so many get-togethers with awesome friends. both crazy + awkward moments. depressing moments. times when i felt so free, and alive. family hangouts, movie nights, fiction, late night talks. and, all too soon, it's gone. it only seemed like yesterday when i bid farewell to school and all its quirks.

the last taste i have of summer 2013 was adventure. i'll never forget how much fun i had dodging the 'bullets' at laser tag, hiding behind walls, launching surprise attacks, undercover missions.

i'll miss the freedom of summer, but i'm praying this school year finds me diligent, responsible, creative, and [hopefully] having fun as well.

//

because it's dawning upon me that this monday would be the beginning of school. yes.



*to quote Les Misérables

21.8.13

sugar overload


typography by me :: via


yesterday, the amount of sugar consumed was cra-zy.

muffins in the morning + brownies in the afternoon + waffles + whipped cream + ice cream for dessert = very majorly serious headache by the end of the day.

[we had dessert at swensens, and our entire family was going bonkers at the table. luke decided that he was on a ninja mission (darling!) and repeatedly shot everyone until we were "very dead." the rest of us were on a sugar high.]

i didn't think at first that the sugar had anything to do with the headache, but my mom said it did. and moms are usually 95% of the time correct, aren't they? [well, maybe] so, i checked it out, and sure enough. sugar can cause headaches.

"...if you consume large amounts of sugar at one time, your body may go into a state of hyperglycemia which results in a headache that may linger for days."

thankfully though, i woke up this morning happy and bursting rainbows [which is a good thing by the way].
i felt very green and blue [which are happy colors, meaning i felt over the rainbow].
the sugar intake must have been so much that it made itself into rainbows! :)

now i'm too sweet. [hahah, get it?]


ps: well that was lame.
pps: ohoh. laser tag was pretty awesome. i had a amazing time being a ninja [see where luke got it from?]
ppps: if you noticed, i might have some of the leftover sugar from last night causing a sugar high.
pppps: rainbow sugar forever!

13.8.13

goodbye-s






so, nat is off to serve his national service.
(hence the amount of random photos / polaroids we took on two sundays ago to celebrate his entrance to um, manhood)

i'm gonna let the pictures do the talking for now because i'm too lazy to explain anything.

only: go nat--make us proud.

xoxo.

9.8.13

dear (i.)

photo from here :: typography by me

dear q.q,
go make us proud. you have been such an awesome brother ever since forever.
can't wait to see you without hair on your head (haha).
idiosyncratic,
e

dear chubby bunny,
for future reference, next time you bring that awesome green jacket, i might just steal it. from under your nose.
[and just hang in there for another year to be an old friend hah. 6 years > 1/2 decade = long time]
 facetiously,
e

dear potential serial stalker,
too bad you'll miss the fun. have a smashing time whamming eggs into your forehead.
scintillating,
e

dear elmo-with-a-goldfish,
wakey wakey! pull the hood lowerrr.
upsoemlaosute*,
e

dear milk,
yes, that's still your official name.
indubitably,
e

//

<footnote> there was no such word as upsoemlaosute. but now there is!
i'm defining it as extremely silly, comical, happy, and holding a lime green balloon.
<ftnt 2> i like writing notes.
<ftnt 3> i don't even know what half of those big words mean. 
<ftnt 4> inspired by elise's pieces

5.8.13

i think i care too much

i think i have a problem.

i care way too much. small things which were meant to be nothing mean the world to me, and i fuss over them like the universe depended upon it. things that people just casually mention, things that literally nobody pays attention to, i see meaning in them. and unfortunately, i think it's directed purposefully at me. and i either 1) curl up into a ball and wither, 2) heatedly defend myself (resulting in me looking real stupid), 3) hold a grudge against that person.

this is a very unfortunate problem, as you can imagine. and sometimes i wind up arguing with someone over something that was simply in my head. why. why why why why.

i'm still thinking of a solution. the only apparent one? care less. but frankly, i don't think that'll work.

this is definitely not a solution, but still. it makes me smile. (:
#despicableme2isprettyawesomeventhoughihavenotwatchedityet


xoxo.