a raw collection of words from my heart

20.8.15

hush, hush

/tumblr/

i'm sitting here, in the brightly-lit lobby. nerves tumbling, palms sweating, hands trembling. waiting for the clock to tell me that it's time. new things are hard to do, new people are hard to meet, new mistakes are hard to forgive.

the boy sits across the room, reclined on a chair, fingers absentmindedly stroking his guitar. i forget my nerves for a moment as i watch his fluid movements. the guitar is coloured like the earth i'm so familiar with, like the soil and dirt i want to be sitting on, laughing and smiling.

but i am here.

in this artificially clean and spotless place that is lit too brightly with fluorescent lights, making it hard to gaze into people's souls. my eyes hurt from the light reflecting off the shiny marble floor.

i leave and use the bathroom one, two, three times before i settle again on my chair. the fabric of my skirt is harsh against my thigh and my body is itching to be free again. the clock still has not moved and time has never moved more slowly.

the lobby empties of the morning crowd and soon, it is just me and the boy with the slender fingers stroking his guitar in a calming, rhythmic way. it's hypnotising, and i see the warm, fresh smell of earth surrounding each stroke as it dies away into the next. my heart beat slows from its excited state and falls into a pulsating pattern to match his movements.

the boy looks up. after what seems like eternity, our eyes break away and he stands up to leave.

i don't have to look back at the clock to know it's time.


//

i started job shadowing a local hospital on monday, and it has been such a great experience so far. this is something i drafted while waiting in the lobby on monday morning. every morning i wake up nervous about me screwing up and looking stupid, but at the same time excited at what i will learn. if you guys could keep me in prayer or in your thoughts i would appreciate it so, so much ♥♥
i honestly have so much love for you all *hugs*

37 comments

  1. This is a brilliant post and one that I see you have a key skill for in terms of grabbing the reader into your writing. Well done on starting your new job on Monday as I know how hard it is to start a new job. I would really love to see more of this if it is possible. Honestly this is a great post.

    The Grand Regime
    thegrandregime.blogspot.com

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    1. *grins*
      thank you so much! i appreciate your very kind comment <3

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  2. gosh that was incredible ❤❤❤

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    1. oh psh, arielleeeee <3
      tHANK YOUS babe xx

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  3. that's awesome that you're job shadowing and so exciting! best of luck to you (: (:

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    1. heehee, thank you dearest lorraine! <3<3

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  4. WHAT NO. i am overwhelmed by the goodness and loveliness of these words. seriously. my brain is having a hard time functioning right now. ♥♥♥ you are a gem. xx

    p.s. i ship it. hehe. ♥

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    1. OH YOU GIRLS<3

      (addayy why are you so much kindness wrapped in such a beautiful person thank you. i love you xx)

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  5. OH MY GOODNESS I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. Your writing is seriously so beautiful, I wish that I had your talent! Love it love it love it. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

    (also to agree with Adelaide- I totally ship it;) )

    xoxo
    Grace Anne // http://totallygraced.blogspot.com/

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    1. no no no, don't wish for my talent; you have too much of it yourself *winks*

      thank you darling <3<3

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  6. Your writing = perfection
    This is really beautiful!
    Also, like Grace and Adelaide, I ship it!

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    1. your comment = tOO MUCH sweetness for my heart to handle<3

      thankyou beautiful<3<3

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  7. this is so gorgeous. i literally just felt my mind transported away.
    that was just like a life experience for me or something. you're seriously that good
    aw i'll be praying for you lots ♥ ♥ *hugs* new things are always hard.

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    1. i thank you from the bottomest-est of my small tiny heart, darling olivia<3<3
      ugh, i love you so much. the prayers are really coveted and appreciated xx

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  8. Your writing>everything else. This is so gorgeous. *ships it even though she doesn't know the actual people in the writing* And good luck with the job shadowing, I'm sure you'll do great!

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    1. NOOOOOR
      you're too lovely for words. thank you so much for your well wishes *hugshugs*

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  9. *forms fandom based on OTP of you and random guitar guy*

    Seriously, though. This was awesome. And I know how you feel about the whole self-conscious thing; it's difficult for me to be taught things one-on-one because I get so nervous about doing something wrong.

    Definitely praying for you! (and guitar boy--okay I'll stop)

    O | Life as a Young Lady

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    1. heehee oh good grief, O <3

      i laughed really hard and smiled so wide because your comment was absolute perfection. also i totally understand the one-on-one thing. sigh, but thank you dearest! xxx

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  10. This is awesome. Ugh, can I just say that I want more and I so ship these two? Because I do-- but I ship nearly every pairing because I'm such the hopeless romantic. I will keep you in my prayers on your job shadowing, for sure!

    xoxo Morning

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    1. ughhh morning you are such a dear <3
      thank you! (p.s.: i ship them too *heehee*)

      xx

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    2. (p.s. /2/: i will definitely think about working on developing this story line deeper! i'm so excited for it <3<3)

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  11. I ship it too LOL :)
    But on a more serious note, I LOVE you always pull the reader in with your short fiction. Beautiful <3

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    1. thank you!! love you so much darling arushee <3<3

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  12. Looooove this. You + words = absolute perfection. <3

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    1. and i love you rebekah <3
      thank you; you are too much kindness i can't even sob *hugs*

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  13. I love this so much! It's almost like I'm feeling what you were feeling. You definitely have a gift with words. :) Loving your blog!

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    1. Ayyyyyy thank you muchly abby (i love your name <3<3)

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  14. Your writing is SO beautiful. I love this too much<3

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    1. devanshiiiiii<3
      (sends so much love *hugs*)

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  15. okay, i'm probably the fiftieth person (actually i know i'm not let's just go with it) to say it, but i tottttaalllly ship it. your writing is just perfection, you know? like spotless beautiful white.
    um what autumn please make sense.
    maybe...this post was flawless? yeah that's it.

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    1. p.s. sending loads of prayers your way.

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    2. eh eh eh eh <3<3<3
      i'm floating on clouds right now because you're a dream tHANK YOU darling *hugs*

      (i really appreciate the prayers xxx)

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  16. HAHAHAHAHAH we're gonna need a bigger boat. we all ship it. *wink* oh man.

    i always read posts the day they're posted, but i rarely have words for them at that time. and this post has been on my mind since i read it. it's too good for my soul. ugh. ♥

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    1. ohhhh you guys <3 we should christen the ship "s.s. the boy" heehee <3<3

      i understand what you mean; i've have the same feeling about many of your posts because they are too perfect <3 you're too lovely for words *hugs*

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  17. Just wanted to stop by and say your blog's awesome and I found this. Point proven. It's so lovely and made me smile and those comments are perfect.
    I'll definitely be praying for you. ♥

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    1. gahh thank you thank you sarah darling <3<3

      the prayers are so, so appreciated! xx

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