(a series of unconnected thoughts)

tumblr

one

a hate

stronger than fire

drowning in flames

hungry, growing

a sorrow

that burned like hunger

silent, raging

so alive

an emptiness

drying and deadly

extinguishing life

a bitter pang

//

two

just a kitten among flowers to make your day brighter xx.

three

(also, by unknown)

"You are so used to your features, you don’t know how beautiful you look to a stranger."

just three unconnected thoughts weighing on my mind this afternoon. i'm in u.k. now, it's so cold (it's supposedly summer, but i live in a superbly warm country, so this is like winter to me), but the place is gorgeous. God has been so good, and i'm just amazed at how everything in life works out. i promise to write more about it, and pictures coming soon :)

(ALSO, biggg shoutout to rosie at self known, for making this little blog look so good. you're awesome, girl.) 

i love you all! have a beautiful week ♥

don't forget

"she walked with darkness

dripping off her shoulders

i've seen ghosts

brighter than her soul"

x tumblr x

don't you dare look me in the eye
and tell me
you're not good enough
we both know that
is not true

there's a difference
oh, honey, there is,
between loving others
and loving yourself

you can love and love
other humans
you see the brightness
in their eyes when they
smile
the quiet movements
that speak volumes

but darling,
you have forgotten
how to love yourself

you have forgotten how to
see the brightness in your eyes
when you laugh
you have stopped loving
the soft smile
gracing your lips

oh, you are not perfect
none of us are
but there's Someone who loves
you deeper
than you could ever love yourself
He makes your flaws
your weaknesses
perfect
in His strength

don't you dare forget that

i just got back from church camp, and it was such a great and refreshing time spent with lovely people. i'm working on getting my writing/blogging schedule up again, which is a tad challenging because my family and i are leaving overseas for a month tomorrow x_x but it's gonna be exciting!

also, i'm just curious: do you guys like it/check back if i reply your comments? i'm not sure if y'all actually notice haha. you all leave the sweetest and loveliest comments, by the way ♥♥

stay beautiful xxx.

just a quiiiick update

(photos taken by me)

the brave do not live forever,

but the cautious do not live at all

// the princess diaries //

i know i haven't been posting in a long while, but i've been (and will be) having end-of-the-year(ish) exams over these few weeks. i've just finished my calculus exam this morning, and boy, am i glad its over.

just a few more papers and summer will be upon us <3

just wanted to let you people know; i'll be back posting again when all the craziness is over! stay awesome, guys.

much love,

elisabeth

the start of something new

it's fiction time (vi.)

his eyes were cold. cold, flashing, and dangerous.

but she found something akin to pain in them, the first sign of human-ness she had seen in him. strangely, that gave her hope. hope for what? you may ask. she didn't know either. all she knew was his eyes were very terrible, and very beautiful.

so, in such a manner, they continued along the road, with her sneaking looks at his unchanging face, and him stonily glaring ahead. silence never bothered her, so she was quite comfortable with the arrangement. from time to time, she would talk, he wouldn't respond, and she would continue the one-sided conversation. once, when she was discussing with, well, herself on something particularly silly, just to pass time, she thought she caught an amused flicker of eyes towards her direction.

she didn't know why, but she felt immensely happy.

all images from tumblr

||

i'm slowly beating writer's block guys!

thanks tons for the suggestions y'all gave in the previous post;

they were so very helpful ♥

also, i just have to add that this fiction was inspired by:

the lovely Adelaide Thompson over at Down by the Willows.

her writing is stunning. go on, check her out right now!

P.S.: if you have instagram, go on and follow me @elisab.ethf because i've been on there more recently!

xxx

/bitterness/

it all starts in the little things. the things that no one sees or cares about. but you do. you remember them. and you keep them in the little sealed drawer at the back of your heart, and you leave it, thinking it won't matter. but then it gets bigger, and the little drawer starts to grow. little things suddenly become big, and you wonder why nobody but you notices, why nobody listens or wants to listen to you.

and then your anger builds. slowly at first, but then faster and faster and faster. it spins out of control, and you feel mistreated in every circumstance. you ponder and mull on it at night. your hands rip pieces of paper into shreds. you glare and punch the bedpost, until you just wind up crying on the floor. and everything seems to lose its meaning. even the bluest sky seems sad. colours don't hold as much meaning as before. love is meaningless. pain is fresh and sharp.

the scary thing is, you don't know you're hurtling towards bitterness, like a ship being hurtled by the waves into the jagged rocks. it spins out of control, leaving you breathless, with a stubborn, bitter heart.

and no one can heal it but Jesus.

just a reminder for myself to let go, and let God.

found this in my old posts; reposting it because i'm needing this reminder.

and also because i'm suffering from an acute writer's block right now.

it's like the worst thing ever to want to write something but being unable to write anything. 

ugh, anyone have any tips for overcoming writer's block?

maybe more chocolate? (ha)

five reasons i am happy today

happiness is something we all want, but we don't get enough of.

here's a collection of five things that make me happy today. and that usually make me happy most days. because i want to make you smile, and be happy today, when you think about these things.

{one} i'm alive.

+ reminder: never ever take this for granted. waking up every morning is a gift, cliche as it might be.

+ don't just be another living creature; we have too many people "just existing" in this world.  LIVE your life, in the truest sense of the word.

+ treasure the moments that make you live, and make them happen.

{two} i have people i love.

+ Loving people is something wondrous. I honestly don't think life would be as fun, as exciting, as painful, as crazy without love.

+ Love is a splash of colour into life.

+ Funny how you begin thinking you only have space for two people. But as you go along in life, you  begin to discover you have more and more space for more and more people.

{three} kittens in teacups.

(no explanation needed)

{four} i have internet access to google for kittens in teacups.

+ okay. this makes me (just a little very) happy.

{five} i am a child of God.

+ this makes happy everyday, even though some days i have to purposefully remind myself that this is a reason to be happy. nothing else matters if i wasn't His child. this, this is the reason why my life is fulfilling and meaningful.

i hope this makes you remember why you smiled last week, or yesterday, or even a few seconds ago.

it's easy to forget the reasons for smiles, but i think those are the most important.

xxx

real or not real.

“You,” he said, “are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world,

and that, I believe is why you are in so much pain.”

-emilie autumn-

the asylum for wayward victorian girls

via tumblr

Please, don't stop. Don't stop being authentic and real and contagious with life to be lived. I might not know the quiet details of your life, but I know this: you are unashamed of joy and proud to smile. In that few spaces of time I saw you, your smile spoke more truth than any conversation I could have had with you. It wasn't just a smile; it was one of few genuine ones I have seen. And that blessed my soul today. You are something real, in a terribly false world. Pain is gonna come, but don't stop.

Don't you dare be afraid to stop

loving, giving, living.

Because darling, after all, what's life without these?

//

my (imaginary) first meeting with you,

my lovely readers

i hope this made your eyes smile today

because that, my friend, is one of the beautiful(est) smiles

♥

eternity in one moment | it's fiction time (v.)

via

meeting you again that day was like eternity compressed into one moment. it was like an adrenaline rush of memories that left me breathless. you might have caught me off guard, and i've told myself over and over again not to be caught surprised. but i did. and i guess it's okay, you know. it's fine to mess up sometimes. thinking back, i wonder if i might have surprised you as well.

i know ever since then, we've changed. you've changed, just look at you. but i don't want to change. i want to still live in the past. maybe it's selfish and, worse still, maybe you think i'm selfish, but that doesn't change it. your eyes tell me to live in the now. let's just move on, you say. but do you know how hard it is for me to move on? moving on means pushing memories away, it means forgetting. and i don't want to forget. it's too much to me to forget. i want to remember every single moment forever.

you know, the idea of eternity scares me sometimes. maybe because my mind can't comprehend it. maybe it's too vast and wide and abstract for me to grasp. but i think, that day when i met you again, it was almost like eternity, in one split second.

|| eternity flies ||

found this in my old drafts. i don't know why i never posted it, but here it is now!

oh, it's chinese new year and i'm in malaysia having way too much food and sleeping too much.

whatever, judge if you will ;)

have a beautiful day xxx.

imperfection + happy (belated) v-day

(i know i just posted yesterday, but i did pre-write this post specifically for v-day, so haha.

whatever, in any case, i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it xx)

i am not perfect.

Sometimes, I find myself having to constantly

Replay this little phrase in my head.

i am not perfect. i am not perfect.

Thoughts of anger

and bitterness swell,

They steal the joy for

others' triumphs,

They wrangle the contentment

at the simple joys of life.

i cannot be perfect.

Perfection may be is something

I will never be able to attain.

/a • tel • o • pho • bia/

Fear of imperfection.

Fear of never being

Good enough for myself,

Much less

a n y o n e

but i forget

i was never called

to be perfect

on my

own

He tells me:

"There is no

Fear

In Love"

there is no fear

in

l o v e


I'm soaked in His Love
Constant
Unending
Everlasting

Through my imperfections
He shines
Perfect
Beautiful
Holy


I remember now

I was never called to be perfect

I was called

To Love
To Glorify
To Reflect

Him


"I must decrease, and He must increase"


:: "if i told you i was perfect, i would have been lying" ::

{cite}

tumblr image
1 John  4:18

John 3:30
quote off the internet

{a little valentine's / single-awareness day / love post for all my readers who i heart. hope this blesses your day.

also, i'm been obsessed with smoothies in a completely weird way. they're so good ugh xx}

back into His arms

(note: this is a word-filled, picture-less post sorry xx)

I suck at being a Christian.

No kidding.

I'm too easily distracted // Wilfully distracted by things I know will drive my attention away from important things. Staying away from distractions is hard, and it needs discipline, and sometimes (more often than not) I get tired. I get tired of fighting to be focused. I get tired of turning away when I see something, not necessarily bad but not necessarily vital for my emotional/spiritual/mental/social wellbeing either.

I'm too easily put off // Doubting people's (often) sincere intentions. I get upset when people misunderstand me. I am frustrated at people's stereotype of who they think I am. And the worst part, I am put off by my own inability to love like Christ.

I'm too easily bought over // Lies, the lies of this world, are a plenty. Many of them are half-truths, some are blatant lies, others are white lies. You give me a sad story that I can empathise with, and chances are I'll side with you. Better yet if you get a hold of my fragile emotions and invoke tears. Sometimes this is good. It helps me relate to people. But, other times, it causes me to question my beliefs based on a single sad story. Like, hey Elisabeth, are you even serious? You have spent all your years understanding the Bible from inside out, knowing that certain things are sins and other things are unto righteousness, and I give you a sad story and you almost immediately side with me? What even? This causes me frustration as I ponder on my fragility and weakness, and my incapability to stand firm.

Something happened earlier today that made me lose control and become the broken and confused monster that never really left me when I accepted Christ. I cannot understand why sometimes God allows these to happen, but I think know that through these I am made perfect in my weakness. My weakness is what makes me human, and it is also what makes me need Christ. Christianity is all about relying on Someone other than yourself to save you; some people say they would rather save themselves, but honey, how can you save yourself when you don't know what you're saving yourself from?

It's almost one AM now, and I'm probably the only one awake in my home. It's quiet, and I finally have time to think and wonder, what is one thing in my life that I would die for. Because really, that's the motivation of my life. I used to say without thinking, Jesus Christ. But if I'm really honest with myself, truly truly honest, I don't even know what to say.

Academic motivations and plans for the future cloud my vision of Christ right now, and I can't see Him clearly. Entertainment and music musk the sweet smell of His presence. I know I know I know. But knowing, it's not enough.

Where to start? Where to begin to erase the dirts and smudge marks I've made over the once clear image of Him?

I guess I have to start where I started once.

Back in His arms.

storm of lies | it's fiction time (iv.)

via tumblr

let the words burn as they leave your throat
chilling the air around you
he asked for it, no one can blame
your patience that is worn
so thin

let the seas roar as they rush
down, down
to the pool beneath your feet
no apologies, not now
not ever

let the skies rumble as black clouds darken
eyes like a storm of grey
turn, turn
you are the eye of the storm
calm and raging

let the wind howl
let the storm rage
let your love be lost in the gale
it has happened before
it will happen again

but you will learn to love once more

inspired by:

It’s funny, you only really know what someone thinks of you

when you know what lies they’ve told you.

-doctor who-


today has been a cold, drear day and it felt appropriate to be inspired for this.
and bazinga! it's already february. craaazy.

hope you like this piece as much as i liked to write it
xx.

growing up | repost from 2013

via some tumblr awesomeness

very long ago, when we were still young, when we thought the world revolved around us, when we had no cares in this world, i thought that our time together was forever. that nothing would ever pull us away from being the bestest of friends.

then we all had to grow up.

slowly, but surely, we stopped seeing each other every other day. stopped these, and starting meeting new people, seeing new things, experiencing fresh enjoyments. and, i suppose, that is growing up.

bittersweet memories of how we used to fight, give silent treatment, and then make up again.

of how we used to play like a bunch of hooligans.

of how we used to tell everyone we were siblings.

of how we would exchange secrets, and dream together of the future.

and now, we've gone our separate ways. friends still, just apart for a while.

growing up? maybe, but i've yet to get used to it.

sometimes these memories, carefully stowed safely at the back of my mind, slip out and make me long for times long past. and when i breathe in the fresh and cool night air, the memories of long ago, pleasant and soothing, haunt me, evoking a sense of loneliness for that time. and sometimes, i wish we could just escape back in time, and be who we were.

the world kinda gets complicated once you're older, doesn't it?

more cares, more responsibilities, more duties to fulfill.

and i just want to freeze that moment, back in time, and remember everything.

i've learnt to treasure those memories, every single one.

“Growing apart doesn't change the fact that
for a long time we grew side by side;
our roots will always be tangled.
I'm glad for that.” 

- Ally Condie, Matched -

i was looking through my old posts and found this. thought you guys might like reading it again ♥

xx

love + mothers

featuring amazing photos from lamb and fox photography--check them out!

//

i am love. i wield the power to break hearts and mend them again; the most beautiful feeling that can cause the deepest pain. i am not just a word; i am not just a feeling. i am a promise. i am a covenant, a commitment. 'til death do us part, they say at marriages. i was made manifest when Christ came down in human flesh to die for you and pay the price for your sins. but not even death could part His Love and you.

//

//

i am the mother. the unseen, unheard, under-appreciated angel who guards over her children with the fiercest love. i cry to Him for their precious souls; i see them in this evil world and realise my heart is frail, too frail to be carrying this burden. i surrender them to the One who sees all, knows all, loves all. i release them to the care of He who tenderly calls to the little children.

//

of love and mothers.

::

i'm back!
::
i just have a lot of things on my mind tonight,

(along with an upcoming biology test,

but that's the least of my worries)

::

some things have shaken me lately

to remind me that i'm not in control of things

and to let go

and let God.

continue to make your 2015 amazing.
every moment counts.
xx.

{DISCLAIMER : as stated above, none of these photos are mine and i'm not claiming credit for them. the words, however, are completely original. the photos are the courtesy of Lamb and Fox Photography who take AMAZING photos. i'm just featuring their photos because they really blew me away.}