peter pan and the paradox of growing up

via tumblr

when i was little, i loved peter pan. he was amazing, and i felt a thrill rush through me every time i watched wendy and the two boys escape to neverland with him. i never really understand why peter pan didn't want to grow up; i was dying to. i wanted to be old enough to go out and see the world, dress up, put on makeup, and wear heels. but now, i can see why growing up can be painful.

growing up is a thing i have to face always, on a daily basis. frankly, it often scares me stiff when i picture me in five, ten years. or even in the next few months. only four more years to twenty, and sixteen years have passed by just as quickly as the wind blows. adulthood staring me in the face, beckoning at times and yet, frightening at others. i'm not sure i'm ready for it. there are so many more responsibilities when you're grown up. more privileges, yes, but certainly more responsibilities as well. many i was just too idealistic when i was younger. adulthood isn't all that carefree as i pictured it. and sometimes i wish i could just do nothing and slouch around on the couch, eating chips (i might just end up with a bigger belly this holidays), and sleep. but that's not reality.

i don't want to grow up, and yet i want to. it's a paradox (don't you just love that word? the creators of the english language were poetic even in the phonetics) that i have to face. i want freedom and excitement and fun that adulthood brings, but i don't want the responsibilities and cares. i know that's terrible, because i need be be able to handle these sort of things. that's why it always comforts me when i remember that i can cast all my cares on Him, for He can and will carry me through. it's beautiful, really, when i think about it.

p.s: read a post i wrote over summer on growing up.

hope

all pictures in this post || via tumblr

hope

is the sunlight spilling over the edge of the horizon

the faint breeze tickling the dew-stained grass

it's a baby's first cry

the empty tomb

the reason today is worth living

hope

is love unparalleled

it's faith in the unknown

trust in the unseen

belief in the unfound

h o p e

the medicine for depression

the cure for bitterness

the life-long pursuit the world seeks

if found in the Him,

it's the only ingredient needed for true happiness

sometimes,

i forget

the hope i have

until it's gone

then i remember.

nothing hurts more than crushed hope.

hope deferred makes the heart sick

but when the desire comes,

it is a tree of life

-proverbs 13:12-

it's his birthday

dear darling,

i don't think you quite comprehend how adorable and precious you are to us. you're the first brother we've ever had, and you have been a gobstopasmashing one. i never know what to expect around you; your frank toothy smile with who-knows-what smears around the chin, and your obsession with all things noisy and truck-y. it's almost like living in a extended amusement park with you around. although you have been countless labelled as spoiled by your loving (and awesome) older sisters, you know that you will always have a little special place in our hearts, doncha? you've been kissed, coddled, cuddled, squeezed, pinched, and hugged countless times by us. mom says that you are so blessed because we dote on you too much. but then again, you're growing up, and i'm sure there will be one day you look down at us (from your lofty height) and say, "can you not coddle me in public anymore? i'm getting too old." and my heart will break, but i'll still cuddle you (albeit not in public) because you'll always be little brother.

and when that day comes for you to set off into the world, and taste firsthand what a evil, cruel, and depressing world it is, i'll tell you to see that beauty beneath the ugliness. that if you look closely, you'll see the traces of glorious beauty streaming forth, a reflection of the Creator's radiance.

i can't believe you're already five. it might seem lightyears away from teen-hood and adulthood, but you'll be there someday too soon. and i'm going to treasure every single moment i have with the sweetest, best hair-flicking bro i ever have.

happy birthday, luke.

little sunshine boy.

time's flying too fast || ♥


{and i'm leaving you with some enthusiastic flag-waving and patriotism from the boy himself}