and it's mid-november

all photos || via some cool place on tumblr

and hallo, it's already mid-november with a month (only a month!) to the busiest time of the year, Christmas. i don't really know how i've been doing. last week, at the conference, i saw so many people i've missed for the past few years and it was exciting to see what they had been up to and how God was at work in their lives. but when they ask me how i've been doing, i put on a great big smile (that is probably too huge to be genuine and would make the cheshire cat proud) and say i'm doing great. wonderful. fabulous. gobstopasmashing. which isn't totally true of course, but one doesn't expect a torrent of little picky problems to come tumbling out when asked "how have you been."

i don't really know how to answer them anyways. at that moment, i feel alright. ready and brave to conquer fresh problems. but within the next hour, i'm wallowing in a hole of depression and self-pity, which i know is not healthy. mood swings that others tell me it's normal to have at this age. but i don't like this normal. can't normal be joyful and peaceful? i've just been really tired maybe. too tired from focusing too much on the little things in life and missing out on the big picture God has for me. there are so many distractions, so, so many for a teenage girl living in a society that simply parades distractions. and i just have to keep reminding myself: when tired, rest. rest in the peace only He can give.

(anyways, i was just thinking the other day how nice it would be to go travelling for a few months some vague time in the future. see the world that God's created. just thinking about it makes me happy. oh! and in addition, i saw that jocee is having a giveaway of really cool stuff so go on, check her out. you won't be disappointed. {this is a sort of anticlimactic/rambly end to the entire thoughtful ambiance of this post. well, deal with it; that's just my personality ha. and yes, i've missed this dear little place to share my thoughts and with you all. glad to be back after a month of hectic busyness!})

♥

something different

doesn't this just kill it. with the honey sugar strawberries and whatever thing is at the bottom (cake maybe)
via tumblr

someone asked me the other day, "so how does it feel turning another year older?" i don't know, but i think it feels more tiring and exhilarating. oxymoron-ish maybe but true all the same. you get more responsibilities, yes more freedom but more duties to fulfill. more expectations to life than ever before, especially in the teen years. there is this certain expectancy that i have to be more mature maybe, less fooling around. is that the stereotype? i don't know, but i don't feel like growing up just yet. i want to delay it for a bit and enjoy my childhood. do some fun stuff, you know, like dancing in the rain, dressing up, run around with a bright green balloon. fun stuff, kiddie activities.

the other day, some close family friends and i met up at the airport for dinner. it had been a while since we had this get-together so we had a good time. the little ones wanted to go for slides, so we brought them and took the skytrain just for fun. it had been so long since i did kiddie things like prance around in the skytrain and pretend it was a spaceship leaving earth (not saying i did though). we got to the slides still in one piece and watched the little kids scream and slide down, cheering for them as they reached the end. then one of us (ahem) had the brilliant idea. since we were below two meters, we could go for it...and couldn't we though? so we waited for our turns and tried to avoid the awkward stares for other teens walking past the slides. not to mention the entire time we were giggling. then we did it. slid down all the way, screaming and cheering and laughing. reminiscing the days when we were just kids.

so i've compiled a list of sixteen things (somewhere up there in a new page) that i aim to do by next year 15th october 2014. no promises that i'll do everything, but i'll try (especially since some of them i'm almost sure i cannot get them done).

so tally-ho, thus opens year 16.

this is gab

photo courtesy of n.

this is gab.

a.k.a. gabby, gabsicles, gabriella, bi. [her real name is gabrielle]

i knew her ever since i was born. our papas were good friends in secondary school, so we are pretty old friends. she's short [sorry, girl! but short = concentrated awesomeness, right? ♥], fiery, bubbly, and totally knows how to have a good laugh.

we weren't always good friends, though. there was a time when we were little that i used to dislike her immensely because she was fun to be around and everybody liked her and my other best friend loved hanging around her and i thought she was being bossy and whatever. i can't remember all the grievances against her, but i only know that because our parents were really good friends, we went on holidays together, attended the same church, and pretty much saw each other frequently. so i had to learn some serious lessons about friendship.

okay, so long story short, there was one explosion we had at cameron highlands, malaysia, when we just pissed at each other and didn't talk for half of the holiday. it was silent treatment until i realized that i was a little [well, maybe very] selfish and stupid for being angry at her for no justifiable reason. and then we made up and were best friends again.

but then we stopped attending the same church, and stopped the weekly meetups and crazy hangouts. it was really depressing, believe me. once in a while, we do a get-together and everyone has a smashing time catching up, teasing, laughing, eating, and reminiscing the "good 'ol times."

so this is gab--small, bubbly, lively, laughter.

//

we had one of those crazy get-together a while ago. it was, simply crazy awesome.

kindred spirits with this girl? you bet.

profile ii.